Effervescent Life!
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Spreading Christmas Cheer.
So Prez has a list of do's and don'ts of writing Christmas letters up on her blog. I read them, and decided that writing a good letter was just too much trouble. Instead I wrote a letter I hope never to receive! I hope you'll be kind enough to write a faux letter of your own! Happy writing, and here's mine:

Dear loved ones,

Praise God! I want to start this letter out by saying that I have prayed for all of you to come to into the fold, and accept Jesus as your savior. I pray mightily that the devil has not consumed you, and you follow the light to Jesus's Holy path! Jesus loves you!

Our family is doing well.

Jenny is a senior in high school and has all "A's" in her classes. She has been afflicted with a head-scratching virus of some sort though. Her menses have disappeared, she's become extremely bloated in her stomach. We pray for her health every night before dinner that the cause of this will be found. This moves Jenny to tears. We know she is such a good girl, and God will provide us the answers soon. 8 months is too long for one of His own to be suffering.

Jebidiah is now in the 9th grade! Can you believe it! Our boy is growing up! We've had to start homeschooling him because the school refused to quit teaching about "evolution"! I pray for his ex teachers everyday! We are strongly considering moving to Kansas where God has touched the education systems soul.

Julie is now 6mo old, and sits up all by herself! She loves to go to playgroup with me, and see the other babies. I'm so glad I decided to join. Those ladies need some real parenting help! Why the other day one of the mothers was actually breastfeeding her 18 month old! I lectured her good and long about spoiling that child and turning him into a pedophile. She hasn't been to playgroup the last couple of times , and I miss her so!

As you all know Grandpa John has come to stay with us permanently. He's a strong patriarch, and we appreciate his discipline. Unfortunately Grandpa John suffers from sever bouts of constipation that must be treated with suppositories. He is unable to do this on his own, so I have taken over his care. I pray every day that he improves, and that my fingers be steady and guided by Jesus's love.

Joseph's work is keeping him busy! He often works late, and even has to go in during the weekend! It tries me sorely to be home with the kids and Grandpa all the time with no help. However I submit to Joe's wishes because I know it makes God happy, and will make me a better wife in the long run!

If you didn't know we had to put poor Buster (our dog) down. He had the devil in him! That dog humped everybodies leg, and I swear he impregnated the cat! We know we made the right choice as it is no life for a family to be in Satan's shadow. Please pray for Buster's dear departed soul.

I hope you are all having as wonderful a year as we've been having! May your Christmas be blessed, and your faith be strong!

signed,
The Grace Family
2 Comments:
Blogger Jennifer said...
ROFLMAO!!!! Loved it! Jebidiah...that is like classic fundy child name right there...hahahhahahahha!!!

Blogger S.T. said...
Hee! That's great! :)