This week I accidentally set my porch on fire
twice.
I licked a delivery confirmation label and tried to affix it to the envelope. When it didn't stick I repeatedly tried again, getting agitated with every failure. Then I realized the label was a
peel and stick.Just a minute ago I realized I had my underwear on
wrong side out. Which should have painfully obvious, some time ago, today.
Right now I'm drinking a Kahlua Mudslide. I deserve it.