Men, do not overthink the condom. (but still use them)
My man is responsible for buying the condoms in our house. It is kind of like that episode of Friends where Pheobe is in charge of cups and ice for a party. She goes completely batshit crazy with cups and ice. Same thing here. I have been subjected to gross number of specialty condoms recently:Dual Pleasure- Ridged on the inside and outside for each persons maximum satisfaction. Maximum Pleasure- Studded for your pleasureAnd the most recent obnoxious addition:Extended Pleasure- Lined on the inside with pleasure extending gel so your man can go longer.
LONGER? No, thanks. I have things I like to do at night. Like sleeping. This isn't even a problem for us. It has become a problem because even though the "pleasure gel" is located on the other side, they still make my twat burn like a bon fire.
Thing is, neither one of us noticed a different with the ridged variety. If anything they remind me of how sex is going to be when we are old and shrively. The bumps will come naturally. Is anybody really looking forward to that?
Regular condoms guys. REGULAR. Ok, maybe with added lube if need be. Hear these words. Heed them.
On to subject number two.
I listen to the "professionals". If I need to tell me DH something I like sexually or don't like, I bring it up at a nuetral time of day. AKA, not when we are having sex so as not to deflate his, um, manliness. That's what "they" say to do.
I'm here to tell you that's bullshit. They don't retain that type of information. Remember when Monica on Friends drew up a diagram for Chandler, of the ins and outs of the female anatomy, and where to find the pleasure zones? Ya? Get one of those dry erase boards and super glue it to your forehead. That might work better. Might. I'm thinking of investing in one of the super annoying blowhorns they use at basketball games.Handling the ladies like a radio tuner-HOOOOONNNKScratching the skin with chin stubble-HOOONKJackrabbitting to the finish-HOOOOONK-Slow down there fella!Morning breathapalooza-HONK
Well, you get the drift!