was in hindsight, the biggest decision I made that deeply impacted my life.

I was married several months after turning 18, and Effervescent Husband and I wanted all the same things.

Children right away.
One parent raising the children from home. (It only made sense to have DH work since he was experienced and loves his job)
That stay at home parent would then go back to school when Children all started school themselves.

Not really a bad plan until you throw God into the mix.

See I have fertility issues. I didn't know it then, but I sure do know. For almost 4 years whenever somebody would ask if I wanted to go back to school, I would say "no". Because I didn't want to have to drop out if I got pregnant. Again, looking back, this was not a good plan. I could have easily gotten an associates-possibly even a bachelors degree, by the time Effervescent Boy made his arrival.

Instead I worked strings of odd jobs.

Now I can't wait to do something for myself. I love my kids dearly, but I'm over being a SAHM. I'm not good at it. I don't have the focus or commitment for structure that young kids need. I like to think I would have made a better SAHP in the beginning of married life like we had planned. When I wasn't so antsy, and my fictional kids would both be in school this year too. That isn't how it happened.

I pray I don't live my life by hindsight in the future.