So one day you are hanging out with God. You notice that he doesn't seem to be in a such a great mood, and inquire about it."God, you seem troubled."To which God replies "Yes, I am. Ms. Smith has come to a fork in her life road. I am concerned as to where her free will might lead her.""Oh dear, that sounds serious!""Yes Child, quite. Let me tell you her story, and share my burden"
The story unfolds.
"Ms. Smith has found out she is unexpectedly pregnant. In order to raise the child she will have to drop out of college, and work much harder than any human should have to, to keep food in her child, and clothes on the childs back. She must live in an unsafe neighborhood just to shelter the child. Unfortunately, due to the little amount of joy in her life besides the child, she has not thought of me, and will die an unbeliever. Never knowing my love for her and her child."
"She is also considering abortion. Taking this path will make her re-evaluate what she wants from her life. She will build a relationship with me, and it will flourish. She will finish school. Work in a career she loves. Meet the man of her dreams. Her future family will all know me and love me."
God sighs heavily and turns towards you.
"This decision is the complete catalyst of her life." He looks at you sadly, and asks earnestly,
"Child, what would you do in her shoes if you knew what you now know?

S'all About Meme.
sat-8 :: it's all culinary.please describe your favourite.... and why they're your favourite:
1. cuisine (or combination of cuisines, if you cannot just choose one). Authentic Mexican. NOT to be confused with the 5 billion mexican restuarants out there that claim to be authentic, BLECH. Home cooked Mexican food by real Mexicans, YUM!
2. breakfast. Sausage Biscuits and Gravy.
3. dessert. Cheesecake w/blueberries.
4. place to eat lunch or dinner. On a picnic bench overlooking some neat scenerly.
5. item to cook. I make a delicious 4 cheese sauce with stuffed tortellini. Sometimes I pan fry some chicken strips to go with.
6. person to eat dinner with. My sisters. The conversation is never dull.
7. hot-day treat. Ice. I love to crunch ice. Heck, I'm doing it right now, and it was snowing earlier.
8. food when you were younger. Hmmmm, my mom used to work at a place called Soup-R-Sub that had hands down the best subs ever. It closed down maybe ten years ago, but anybody who remembers that place laments over the loss. It was superior to everything out there.
Located here

Geographical states that is. What is wrong with this country that A) we actually think some of these laws are for the good of the people and B) that nobody seems at all embarassed about suggesting dildo legistlature?
MO (Can you believe I actually want to go back there?)
A town in MO now has a strict policy regarding what a family is.Idiotic PolicyMy favorite part is this:At the hearing, Shelltrack said, one board of adjustment member, Norma Mitchell, even pointed at her and asked, "I don't understand why you as a woman didn't exercise your right to marry that man," before being hushed by another board member.Gee, maybe that is because she is excersizing her right NOT to. Where did they find this board member? Idiots-R-Us?
House Ok's Birth Control Ban.Funding Frustration Now, I understand the need to cut funding somewhere, but this is just the dumbest thing I have seen. Yes, lets cut funding for Birth Control because the State shouldn't have to pay for it.......EXCEPT, now they will be paying for all the pregnanies, births, and post-partum care, and childrens medical for all the births they could have prevented. You would think that the short sightedness of this bill would be all that was needed to prevent it from passing, but apparently the House in MO operates more like a village of idiots.
MO proposes State Religion:How the fuck did these people get elected!!!Big surprise the religion du jour is Christianity. I think Jesus just rolled over in his......cloudy kingdom of bliss? I just pray the next thing back on the books in stoning. I could go for some serious stoning.And we can't forget the homophobes of MO:Damn PenguinsI kind of agree with the thought process here. I mean really. If we start letting gay penguins get all uppity where will it end?
Oh, Missouri isn't the only stupid state let me assure you.Mississippi's Masterbation Mayhem!Just Say No To GratificationWere all elected officials virgins? Old men with ED? Who thinks of this stuff? And for Heavens sake WHY?! You know at first I thought maybe they just needed a dildo, but now I think they just need to pull out the one they do have.
Stupid! Stupid!! Stupid!!!! What next? I don't even want to guess. I do know there are a few states not mentioned (like all of them), and I hope to get around to them soon.

One Childs Teddy Graham is Another Childs Heartbreak.
DH got off of work early yesterday, and brought us all home something to snack on. For the little Heathens that snack was Teddy Grahams. Little graham cracker cookies in the shape of teddy bears. Heathen Toddler ate a couple before noticing the teddy bear pattern. When he did, he quit eating, and starting playing. He hugged the crackers, talked to them, and gave them kisses. He was quite upset when I suggested he put them in his mouth and chew. In fact he promptly pulled out a handful and named them Daddy Bear, Mommy Bear, Sissy Bear and His Name Bear. Eventually I convinced him to at least put them back in the bag rather than walk around with them.
Heathen Baby on the other hand had no such qualms about eating the Bear family. The second she woke up from her nap she tossed a couple in her mouth. To the absolute horror of her big brother.
Please folks save the Teddy Grahams! Or eat them on the down low

When deciding whether or not to have another child after our first born son I asked many people for their experiences of having toddler and an infant. I kid you not, 99% of the responses were "It's hard." No explaination, just "It's hard." Hmmmm, OK. I never thought it was going to be easy so "It's hard" seemed like a non answer. I just wanted to know what to expect since infertility issues required us to act sooner rather than later.
When DS was 23mo, DD was born.
Trying to BF(in a camping chair) a newborn strapped to bili-blankets while trying to maintain your patience with an impish toddler-HARD.
Trying to clean spontaneous vomit off of yourself with a 2 week old in your arms and a very sick toddler, trying to cling to you for comfort,-HARD.
Diaper duty for both (cloth diapers no less!)-HARD
Disappointing your toddler by cutting playtime short so you can catch spit up that has come out your infant at such a velocity that eventually you have no clean clothes to wear.-HARD
Severe reflux in the infant that requires you to hold it whenever it is awake, cutting all or most cuddle/play time for toddler short.-HARD(and really sad)
Trying to get even a miniscule amount of sleep. Even now-HARD.
Playing King Solomon whenever an issue arises involving trains, hot wheels, books, baby dolls, blocks, Blues Clues, Wiggles, Glo-Worms, and affection.-very very HARD
Finding time to do any of the things that are supposed to make one a good housewife and stay at home mom such as dishes, laundry, vaccuming, cooking, dusting, breathing, mopping, clutter control, wifely duties-very very HARD
You know what's easy?
Loving them equally.
Seeing the complete adoration they have for each other.
Knowing I gave birth to best friends.
Those 3 "easies" make up for every hard detail of the last 2 years, but should anybody ask me about having children so close together I'm going to have to tell them "It's hard". Because the easy stuff is too emotional, too hard to explain.

I've just about had it with weather people. Yesterday we had storm watches all day long. Not one good storm out of the bunch. Lots of rain, a few grumbles of thunder, and maybe 4 lightning strikes that I counted. Ohio is a disappointing place if you love storms.
Missouri on the other hand had terrific storms. Even the small ones gave the impresssion that they were going to swallow you whole. I've never seen blacker, swirlier storm clouds anywhere. It could be a bright yellow day, and then *poof* all the light is gone, and day turns into night. For the remainder of the storm you had to stand on your porch and determine if any of the clouds were going to generate a tornado. Every storm. It was great!! LOL, I miss MO.

Heathen Mommy has insomnia. Horrible bouts of it. She gets approximately 4 hours of sleep a night on a bad night, and only 6 on a good night. Generally it takes her anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours just to fall asleep. That's only if both Heathen children cooperate, which of course, most nights they dont. Mommy Heathen takes care of the Heathen children about 75% of the time when they wake up, since she knows she is going to be awake anyway. Last night, Heathen Mommy goes to bed late. Real late, but she simply wasn't tired. For 2 hours she tosses and turns while Heathen Daddy snores loudly, and graces the Heathen bedroom with a nefarious odor. Heathen Mommy shakes him awake numerous times to ask him to please roll over, which normally stems the snoring. DH ingnores the request all, but twice. Both times glaring at her as if to say "I wasn't snoring.". She falls asleep at approximately 4:30 am -5a.m.
Baby Heathen awakes at 5:30am for her ritual early morning scream. Mommy, soothes her and puts her back bed.
Repeat toss and turn ritual for 45 minutes.
Daddy Heathens alarm goes off waking Toddler Heathen. Daddy Heathen "takes care of" Toddler, dresses and leaves for work.
Toddler is not satisfied with level of care provided, and cries until Mommy is awoken around 7:30am.
Mommy pretends not to hear him until she feels guilty, and begrudgingly gets up.
Mommy discovers Toddler is soaked thru his clothing, and his pacifier is clearly broken.
Good Morning Mommy!
It is now noonish, and I just had to listen to my toddler cry himself to sleep over his pacifier being gone, which of course could have been avoided if Daddy Heathen had done a little more than throw crackers at the situation this morning. When conversing with DH, his solution is:Are you ready for it?



"You should go to bed earlier!"
Well thank you fuckface!! I hadn't ever thought of that before! I guess the prescription drugs would have all been unnesseccary had I gotten your sage advice when I was 10 years old! Phew! So glad I will never have to deal with "insomnia" again!
Anyway, Daddy Heathen is a lucky man. I let him continue breathing today.

But you already knew that didn't you? Anyway, this little egg will be haunting my blog until it hatches. Yes, I am that lame.