I despise news. Living in the eastern time zone you get a full 7 hours of it on one local channel alone. That is NOT including the early morning local news that comes on before the national news programs. It's too much. I don't need to know every little bad thing that is happening. I do, however, buy the Sunday paper just to get a recap of the 99% crap, and 1% important stuff that goes on. That I don't actually get to read it for a few days is another issue altogether.
So this Sundays paper brings me these headlines:
Indonesia quake kills 3,500(me here: How utterly horrible The US is sending support ($500,000), and sadly people will be up in arms about "We have needy people right here at home!". I understand that opinion, and believe it is valid. Yet, if we had not engaged in this war we would have the means to feed our hungry, and aid other countries as well. Provided, of course, that our president takes our hungry children seriously. Since he has yet to do anything worthwhile in that department......)
World is Failing Kids with HIV, group say (Edith Lederer-AP)700,000 children were infected with HIV virus in 2005....and 570,000 died of AIDS-one every minute. Less than 5% of HIV-positive children have access to the pediatric AIDS treatment they need......(Good God. Failing indeed. To donate please go here World Vision)
NSA invokes 'state secrets' privilegeJustice Department asks courts to block eavesdropping suits
Sunday, May 28, 2006
David B . Caruso
ASSOCIATED PRESS
NEW YORK — The Bush administration has asked New York and Michigan federal judges to dismiss lawsuits filed over the National Security Agency’s domestic eavesdropping program, saying litigating them would jeopardize state secrets. (Ah, just another day in the White House. Throw up a smokescreen, and hope everyone bites at it. "But, but, but he might, maybe, sort of, could protect us!" Good plan, good plan )
And then there are umpteenth many more pages on funding for ballparks (cant live without those, ya know!), crime, sports, crime, classifieds, and, of course, crime.
I want to be informed, not harrassed. What are the odds that will ever happen?

~*~Completely morbid post. Don't read if you are faint of heart.~*~
I mean totally paraniod, batshit crazy scares me. I can't help it. That they think it mutated, to a human to human virus, is making my brain bleed. I'm normally very laid back about things the media labels "threats". This one is under my skin.
I think it is because I have babies now. I think seeing one of my children die would break me. I can't imagine being on my deathbed, and knowing I would miss their beautiful lives. What the hell would I do without my husband? See? I'm going nuts.
What if it spreads like a wildfire, and comes to our state? Our city? What if so many people die that the water company is no longer open, and we have only one bottle of water left. What if the Gas/Electric company closes, and it is the middle of winter? What if there is a quarantine in the city of one of my loved ones, and I can't reach them...because our phone company has nobody manning the lines (do they even "man" the lines anymore?)? What if my DH gets sick, has to stay somewhere else, and dies. Will he know that I love him? What if there is a pretty good cure, and my family dies because we can't afford it?
So I'm developing a bird flu readiness plan. Cause I'm that in my head about it now. I want to be ready. I want my family to be safe. Maybe, I will post it when I'm done. I will call it Effervescent Life's Guide To Having A Complete Meltdown.
And God, I wish I was sane again.

On our driveway there is a break running thru it widthwise because it travels uphill. The ants have a habit of marching thru this break. I don't know what they are after, but they mull around this one spot in particular, and have been all month long. It must smell awefully sweet at that one spot.
So the Heathen family gets ready to go grocery shopping, and I point out to HS (Heathen son, 3.5) all the ants. HS is delighted by them!
"Hi there!""What's your names?""Whatcha doin?"
Of course, one got too close to him and he ran back as if the ant was going to attack him , and when he realized it wasn't he crouched down to get a better look. Got his little face within two inches of those little ants, and
BLEW AS HARD AS HE COULD!
Ants were scattered to the far ends of ant earth! I couldn't help but chuckle knowing how confused those ants were, and wondering if they would be able to find their way home.
Which really doesn't matter because we ran them over with the car, immediately following that, anyway.

This week on a playgroup Jack Johnsons Sing-A-Longs (The Curious George Soundtrack) was reccomended. Thanks D! Having an affinity for Jack Johnson myself I immediately DL'ed it from Itunes and burned it to disc.
Now I'm here telling you to do the same. It's great music! My Toddler dances to it, my baby sways to it, and I sing a long (badly) while cleaning. If nothing else DL Upside Down (windows media player snippet).
Hop to it!

Rock on Canadian Journalists! This article was posted to NOTI.
Journalists stage boycott of PM's press conferencePrime Minister not taking questionsReporters refuse to submit names to listMay 24, 2006. 01:00 AMALEXANDER PANETTACANADIAN PRESSOTTAWA—About two dozen journalists walked out on Stephen Harper yesterday after he refused to take their questions, the latest chapter in an unseemly spat between the Prime Minister and members of the national media.Parliament Hill veterans described the scene of reporters boycotting a prime ministerial news conference as a first.It resulted in Harper being forced to make his announcement on aid to Darfur to a small handful of reporters, photographers and camera operators outside the House of Commons.The impromptu boycott was the latest move by journalists in their ongoing tug-of-war with Harper over who controls news conferences.The Prime Minister's Office insists on choosing who gets to ask questions based on a list it compiles. Officials say they're merely trying to install some order to the often chaotic ritual of parliamentary news scrums."It is unfortunate that a select group within the press gallery displays such hostility and exhibits disrespect toward the Prime Minister," said a Harper spokesman.But the parliamentary press gallery is concerned that Harper wants to freeze out any journalists or news organizations that he dislikes and so has refused to submit names to the list."We can't accept that the Prime Minister's Office would decide who gets to ask questions," said Yves Malo, a TVA reporter and president of the press gallery. "Does that mean that when there's a crisis they'll only call upon journalists they expect softball questions from?"After journalists refused to be placed on the list again yesterday, Harper spokesman Dimitris Soudas announced that Harper would be on his way shortly — and he would not be taking questions.The press gallery president then turned to his colleagues and suggested they leave.Most agreed, reasoning there was no point sticking around if the event could be covered by watching a television set from any newsroom in the country. The Star was one of the media outlets that chose to remain.From The Star
I love it when uppity politicians get the smack down!

Back from the annual mini-vacation. Lots of photos so this entry might take a while to load. Here is our view of the lake from the window. The first couple of days were cold and rainy.....

Watched the Will & Grace finale, which sucked, the first night. Then ER. I love ER!
Second day is looking better, but still cool and windy:
My sisters (who wish to remain anonymous) showing off their sandcastle building "skills": Got to go to the Mon Ami Champagne Company sans heathen children and brought back some Chardonnay and Cellmasters Red. The chardonnay was yummy, and the red is calling my name from the fridge ;) Played Clue™ . Mom won both times! She never wins. Yay, Mom!
Finally! Some sunshine! 3rd day is a charm! Here is Heathen Toddler who played for hours in the sand:
And the Heathen Baby who decided that while the wet and cold sand was fine, she would rather play on the deck when it got warm (Weirdo...lol):
Random Tree:
Eldest sister pan fried some fish for dinner that night. A piece slid down in the burner and started a grease fire. Every time my younger sister would throw more flour on it it would flame up again! Even salt didn't work! It did burn itself out pretty quickly, phew! Here are the results:
Last sunset of the trip:
Waving Goodbye:
Thanks for looking!

I was recently engaged in a debate where it was suggested that Americans are most effected by illegal immigration and rising gas prices, and thus this was the reason for Bush's falling poll numbers. This was my response which I believe needs to be repeated:
Not really. Education, social welfare, and healthcare is what has been affecting this country personally, but so long as people believe we should be worrying about gas and immigration, Bush won't have to worry about them. He can pretend he's busily pondering the gas crisis (even though profits from oil have soared during his administration) and the threat from the borders ( even though we have neither the man power or the money to effectively do anything about it), and it will placate many into thinking he is actually accomplishing something.
Please, the next time you vote, do so with the real crisis' in mind.

Ive added a few blogs to the side bar. Have a heart and read a couple! I promise you they don't ramble as much as me! They are very well spoken ladies.

Last night was the big survivor finale. I wish I could say I was enthused, but really thought the entire season was boring. Aras won - deservingly IMO. The real reality of TV however, came with the Reunion Special televised immediately afterward.
First off, Jeff Probst leaves the island under the fanfare of dramatic music, and arrives on set to it also....Except when he appears on set he is wearing this hideous sweater set. Yes, I said sweater set. So the entire show set looks it came straight off the island, but Jeff looks like he got an hour pass from his retirement community to MC it. The clothes were baaaaaaaad, and clashed horribly with everything else. The sweater was Robin blue with a white undershirt. Think about it. He's also apparently going thru a midlife crisis with his hair because it's much too long. I nicknamed him Ambiguos Jeff for the night.
So with the voting, and winner announcement out of the way, Ambiguos Jeff goes on to talk to the people.....blah,blah, blah, everyone pretty much likes Aras, Terry, Bruce, Shane, Danielle, and Loooooooovvves Cirie. No biggie.
Cirie came out much more loveable and capable than she went in. So at one point they pan out to her husband and son, so her husband can speak. He is introduced, and.......the crowd can not figure out what to do when a black man stands up for recognition. All the white people forget how to clap apparently, because at first there is nearly silence, then a spattering of clapping, and at best it never got past lukewarm acceptance. It was so very, very sad really. Says a lot about how much growth our society still needs. Because you know if the family in question had been white, half the crowd would have been clapping themselves silly.
Austin found his faith. Blah, Blah, Blah. I have a real disdain for preaching on TV. Austin really didn't preach, just told his story so I liked it, but still rolled my eyes at first. I'm such a heathen.
Bruce's asshole school system put him on un paid leave FOR PUNISHMENT because he didn't have permission to go. I will repeat, Assholes. But Bruce continues to work there because he loves the children....awwwwwww.
Courtney. Courtney, courtney, courtney. What can I say? I actually liked her, a lot. Ambiguos Jeff slapped her around by infering that she is immature, but I say she is no more immature that Danielle or Aras, or even Shane for that matter. If anything Courtney was the most focused and path driven. She is just different, which most people think assume means difficult. Our society is so big on conformation that anyone who doesn't gets a negative label slapped on them. How sad is that?
Shane, geez he really was crazy in the nicest way he possibly could have been. He came off as very animated, but centered for the reunion. Very likable.
And the most pathetic segue of the show? Ambiguos Jeff says "Speaking of Mothers Day. Tina, How does it feel to have lost your child?" (might not be exact quote, but pretty darn close) Fucking ice in his vains. Despicable.
The Reunion Show was a good look at the true human psyche, good, bad, ugly, and crazy. It almost had better entertainment value than the entire season. Go figure.

Well, if you read my blog you may think I actually think that way given how many funny DH stories I've told lately. So I am here to set the record straight. Some of my more negative behaviors and blunders:
Last night while my hair was drying it felt weird. I had washed it about 3 times because I went about 3 days without washing it. The first two times with regular shampoo....Then I noticed we didn't have any conditioner so I washed it with the kids 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner. I must have thought I was rushed for time or something because it turns out, I didn't rinse that last stuff out
I'm horribly sarcastic. I really take it overboard, and instead it mutates into condenscending behavior. Even though I am amused when I do it, it doesn't translate well to others ears. Turns out sarcastic and dry really only works when you are clever and witty as well. I'm not.
I'm messy. I have what I describe as macro vision. You know on a digital cameral how macro vision centers on a specific object and blurs the background? That's me. I'm forever laying stuff down, and meaning to pick it back up, later during my next pass thru. Never happens because it blends into the background. I'm so focused on whatever it is that I am doing at the time, that the million things I need to get back to, never get gotten back to.
I hate watching movies. Personally this isn't a bad thing, but when you have a mate that loves watching movies, it is. I watch maybe 10 whole (rental) movies each year and at least a third of those are previewing for my kids.
I despise cooking. Again, not to bad personally, but poor DH rarely gets a homecooked meal when he gets home. Though I am a good cook when I do.
So that's me...horribly flawed.

Men, do not overthink the condom. (but still use them)
My man is responsible for buying the condoms in our house. It is kind of like that episode of Friends where Pheobe is in charge of cups and ice for a party. She goes completely batshit crazy with cups and ice. Same thing here. I have been subjected to gross number of specialty condoms recently:Dual Pleasure- Ridged on the inside and outside for each persons maximum satisfaction. Maximum Pleasure- Studded for your pleasureAnd the most recent obnoxious addition:Extended Pleasure- Lined on the inside with pleasure extending gel so your man can go longer.
LONGER? No, thanks. I have things I like to do at night. Like sleeping. This isn't even a problem for us. It has become a problem because even though the "pleasure gel" is located on the other side, they still make my twat burn like a bon fire.
Thing is, neither one of us noticed a different with the ridged variety. If anything they remind me of how sex is going to be when we are old and shrively. The bumps will come naturally. Is anybody really looking forward to that?
Regular condoms guys. REGULAR. Ok, maybe with added lube if need be. Hear these words. Heed them.
On to subject number two.
I listen to the "professionals". If I need to tell me DH something I like sexually or don't like, I bring it up at a nuetral time of day. AKA, not when we are having sex so as not to deflate his, um, manliness. That's what "they" say to do.
I'm here to tell you that's bullshit. They don't retain that type of information. Remember when Monica on Friends drew up a diagram for Chandler, of the ins and outs of the female anatomy, and where to find the pleasure zones? Ya? Get one of those dry erase boards and super glue it to your forehead. That might work better. Might. I'm thinking of investing in one of the super annoying blowhorns they use at basketball games.Handling the ladies like a radio tuner-HOOOOONNNKScratching the skin with chin stubble-HOOONKJackrabbitting to the finish-HOOOOONK-Slow down there fella!Morning breathapalooza-HONK
Well, you get the drift!

So have you seen my latest neopets hatchling?
It's a fugly looking thing. I'm pretty sure it will morph at some point. Keep your eyes peeled! No new eggs until that happens.Ya, that's right! Im a mid twenties mother still playing with toys. What are you gonna do about it?! They are silly, fun, and amusing. Me likey.

In no particular order.
The Eight - Katherine Neville
Prodigal Summer - Barbara Kingslover
The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingslover
The Bride - Julie Garwood
Season of the Sun - Catherine Coulter
The Bourne Identity - Robert Ludlum (Not to be confused with the movie. Although loosely based on the book the movie is very different. Actually, both the movie and the book are well done. There just is not enough similarity to recomend one based on the other.)
My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
Familiar Prose Quotations - No idea who the collector was, but the book is dated to in the 1800's, IIRC. Unfortunately toddler heathen tore out the first two pages. I love to leaf thru it!
Comes the Blind Fury - John Saul (makes my shiver every time!)
The Swan Trilogy ---- Wild Swan, Swan's Chance, and A Season of Swans - Celeste De Blasis. Beautifully written trilogy.

May motherhoods beauty never wilt from your eyes.
May your first born arrive home wanting his momma,
And your princess learn from your gentle ways.
May your prince be born of the kindest cut of all,
Loving you.
May your days be filled of wonder and awe
May your nights be filled with quiet serenity.
May their tears fill your cup to overflowing,
So that even on your driest days you have at least one glistening drop to build on.
Of their love.
May their cries be muffled by your open arms.
May their laughter be heard around the world.
May their voices rejoice at the sound of their mothers own,
And their eyes reflect the love you've given.
To all of them.
May four small hands become six
And twenty piggies, multiply to thirty.
May two beautiful heads of hair become three.
Most of all, may the last 9 months of of your work,
gather 5 hearts into one creation.
A family.
God Bless You.